Morning Woes
No two clocks in my house are set on the same time; they range from 2 minutes fast to 13 minutes fast. I do this partly because I hate to be late, but mostly because I am not a morning person. I am a master at convincing myself that I don't really have to get up in the morning. I come up with all kinds of wacky reasons why I should not get up yet. My favorite was when I decided I couldn't get up until the number on the clock was divisible by 7. I have no idea where I came up with that. I am an uber-geek even in my sleep!
So my conscious self has finally had to resort to some CIA-worthy covert ops to get my body up in the morning. I have two alarm clocks now; one in my room, and a really loud one hidden in the den. I periodically move it around in the den to force myself to actively seek out the beeping when it goes off. Neither clock is set on the right time (or even the same time), but they are carefully aligned so that the alarms go off exactly halfway through each other's snooze cycles. There is beeping about every 4 minutes in the morning in my house. It also turns out that my sleeping self often doesn't register that the clocks are fast until I am mostly awake. So the ambiguity of time in my apartment in the daytime is worth it to me if it will confuse me enough in the morning to actually wake up.
This morning turned out to be particularly challenging. I had been working quite late last night and only intended to sleep for a few hours before getting back up again. The alarms began around 4:30 this morning. I alternately smacked around for the snooze button on my nightstand and sleepwalked to the den looking for the hidden clock in an effort to lay down in silence for just a few more minutes. At some point I decided (while getting back into bed to snooze another 4 minutes) that I should put my glasses on; that way, I could see the clock next to my bed and know that I am oversleeping. Seemed like very logical reasoning at the time. So I got back into bed and slept very carefully with my glasses on. A few snoozes later, I decided I should get in the shower to wake up. I got as far as getting my towel before deciding to get back into the bed. And that's how I woke up an hour later in the bed, wearing my glasses and clutching my towel.
Bizarre.
So my conscious self has finally had to resort to some CIA-worthy covert ops to get my body up in the morning. I have two alarm clocks now; one in my room, and a really loud one hidden in the den. I periodically move it around in the den to force myself to actively seek out the beeping when it goes off. Neither clock is set on the right time (or even the same time), but they are carefully aligned so that the alarms go off exactly halfway through each other's snooze cycles. There is beeping about every 4 minutes in the morning in my house. It also turns out that my sleeping self often doesn't register that the clocks are fast until I am mostly awake. So the ambiguity of time in my apartment in the daytime is worth it to me if it will confuse me enough in the morning to actually wake up.
This morning turned out to be particularly challenging. I had been working quite late last night and only intended to sleep for a few hours before getting back up again. The alarms began around 4:30 this morning. I alternately smacked around for the snooze button on my nightstand and sleepwalked to the den looking for the hidden clock in an effort to lay down in silence for just a few more minutes. At some point I decided (while getting back into bed to snooze another 4 minutes) that I should put my glasses on; that way, I could see the clock next to my bed and know that I am oversleeping. Seemed like very logical reasoning at the time. So I got back into bed and slept very carefully with my glasses on. A few snoozes later, I decided I should get in the shower to wake up. I got as far as getting my towel before deciding to get back into the bed. And that's how I woke up an hour later in the bed, wearing my glasses and clutching my towel.
Bizarre.
posted by Meredith | 9:17 PM
2 Comments:
LOL! That's hilarious. I have this image of you feeling your way around looking for hidden clocks. And holding your towel. That's pretty bad...maybe you should go to bed earlier!
Wow! I'm sure you've heard all about the research that says you get no real sleep if you snooze a lot. The towel thing is just hilarious.
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