Getting What You Ask For
Sometimes the worst thing in the world is when someone actually listens to you and gives you the one thing for which you have asked. Take me, for example. I get tired of people hovering over me, be it literally (ie--my mother calling to ask if I need money) or figuratively (as in at work, when my advisor keeps the advising strings tied a little too tightly). What I really would like is to be able to make my own decisions, be they good or bad. I don't want other people having conversations for me and deciding my fate. I'm 28 for goodness sake, I am a grownup. Please treat me like one.
You might remember several weeks back when a teaching opportunity was rudely ripped away from me. (Clearly I'm still not completely over that. Maybe I used the term grownup a little prematurely back then). Well, I talked to the powers that be (the department chair, let's call him DC) about the whole deal. DC and I (thank the heavens) have a great working relationship. He actually sought me out when he heard that I had "been informed" of the teaching change and wanted to check to see if I was really ok. I told him exactly what I thought about the situation and he told me exactly how everything went down, including the parts my advisor failed to mention to me. Long story short, DC wants to give me a chance to teach a class in the fall since I cannot do the one in the summer. So in theory, all is well and I am getting what I want.
Here's the catch. Of course there is a catch.
My advisor does not want me to do it. Apparently, the faculty member in charge of scheduling went to my advisor to talk to him about the opportunity and my advisor (let's call him Pain in My Ass for the moment) has decreed that he would prefer I did not teach this fall. Mind you, PiMA has not mentioned a thing to me about the chance; the word went from PiMA to faculty member in charge of scheduling to DC and finally back to me. I had lunch with DC yesterday at which point this whole conversation is relayed back to me. DC tells me that it's up to me to make a decision on whether or not to teach the class; the class is mine for the taking. He's leaving the ball completely in my court. He, unlike everyone else, does not want to tell me what to do. Of all the times to listen to me and not actually offer his opinion, this is the one he chooses.
So now, I have two weeks to decide whether (a) to teach this class and piss off my advisor the semester before I need him to sign my thesis or (b) to turn down a golden opportunity that has been created for me by DC and dropped into my lap, thus ensuring that DC will be unlikely to go out of his way for me again the semester before I need his help finding a job.
See how getting what you ask for can come back to bite you in the bum?
You might remember several weeks back when a teaching opportunity was rudely ripped away from me. (Clearly I'm still not completely over that. Maybe I used the term grownup a little prematurely back then). Well, I talked to the powers that be (the department chair, let's call him DC) about the whole deal. DC and I (thank the heavens) have a great working relationship. He actually sought me out when he heard that I had "been informed" of the teaching change and wanted to check to see if I was really ok. I told him exactly what I thought about the situation and he told me exactly how everything went down, including the parts my advisor failed to mention to me. Long story short, DC wants to give me a chance to teach a class in the fall since I cannot do the one in the summer. So in theory, all is well and I am getting what I want.
Here's the catch. Of course there is a catch.
My advisor does not want me to do it. Apparently, the faculty member in charge of scheduling went to my advisor to talk to him about the opportunity and my advisor (let's call him Pain in My Ass for the moment) has decreed that he would prefer I did not teach this fall. Mind you, PiMA has not mentioned a thing to me about the chance; the word went from PiMA to faculty member in charge of scheduling to DC and finally back to me. I had lunch with DC yesterday at which point this whole conversation is relayed back to me. DC tells me that it's up to me to make a decision on whether or not to teach the class; the class is mine for the taking. He's leaving the ball completely in my court. He, unlike everyone else, does not want to tell me what to do. Of all the times to listen to me and not actually offer his opinion, this is the one he chooses.
So now, I have two weeks to decide whether (a) to teach this class and piss off my advisor the semester before I need him to sign my thesis or (b) to turn down a golden opportunity that has been created for me by DC and dropped into my lap, thus ensuring that DC will be unlikely to go out of his way for me again the semester before I need his help finding a job.
See how getting what you ask for can come back to bite you in the bum?
posted by Meredith | 12:44 AM
3 Comments:
Please teach that class! How else will you know what you want to do with your life? I'd suggest talking w/ your advisor and explaining your situation. Then promise to work really really hard on your thesis over the summer so your advisor will know that you won't put it on the backburner.
at this point, i think you have to talk to your advisor about this openly before you can really make a decision. why is he not communicating his concerns to you in the first place? do you even know what his concerns ARE??? i certainly would NOT turn down the teaching opportunity, though--you need it for your own decision-making process. yeah--i say talk to the dude and then teach the class. you can handle it--i KNOW you...
Couldn't you just prove to him that it won't affect your work by teaching and doing a good job on thesis? I'm not in the field...maybe I don't know.
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