Whoa

I love E! as much as the next guy. Maybe more. (Actually, considering the people I'm surrounded by on a daily basis, probably a lot more.) I love some celebrity gossip and spoilers for my favorite TV shows and snarky comments about rich people's fashion sense or lack thereof (see Paris Hilton and/or Jennifer Lopez). I'm a total sucker for it all. But I cannot get behind the headline that greeted me on E! this evening:

"Witness: Michael Licked my Brother"

Ew. Ick. Just no. I have kept myself Michael Jackson-free for as long as possible. I don't want to know anything about the case. Especially not about who licked whom. Why is this stuff news? Why is the trial even open to the press and public? Why did it have to interrupt my gossip reading?

Woe to me.