Filling in the Holes

Looking back on my academic career thus far, I am beginning to wonder about all the things missing from my education. Someone should have pulled me aside as an undergraduate and said: "Look, you'll really regret it if you don't take any English classes. Probably the same for history, philosophy, psychology, biology, and religion. Your bizarre affinity for the Russian language not withstanding, being multi-lingual in useful languages would be an asset. Feel free to branch out at any time." I truly wish someone had said that to me. Because now, I do regret all of those things.

I think it's not simple to go back, though, and develop even the most basic, broad understanding of one of the fields from which I am now so far removed. I cannot help but look at the amount of time it would take me to learn conversational French and wonder if that time wouldn't be better spent working on another paper. Or forming a new collaboration with a colleague in my own field. That's what my advisor (and, frankly, the rest of the faculty here) would tell me to do. And how does one learn history while on a time budget? I can probably still recite the US Presidents in order (thanks Ms. Cleary!), but even the highlights of the van Buren administration now elude me. I don't need a book detailing the economic developments leading up to the fall of communism in East Germany, I need "High School World History for Dummies." Those are harder to come by, in my experience. And while my "Learn to Speak Italian in 10 Lessons" CDs are very entertaining, I cannot say that I have developed anything more than a repertoire of vaguely useful phrases. Linguistically, the language eludes me.

These topics are nothing, however, compared to my illustrious career in biology. I have not taken a biology course since 9th grade (circa 1990). I check with my biologist and doctor friends every so often to make sure we're still believing in this whole DNA thing, but beyond that? I'm seriously deficient. It's a travesty. And yet, where do I begin to fix that?

Our higher education system just seems so odd to me sometimes. We become so specialized, so focused on one narrow topic that other things seem just to fall by the wayside. And I don't necessarily think anymore that this specialization is to our benefit. I'll have my Ph.D. in under a year, but all that will mean (in a practical sense) is that I studied one tiny thing, really hard, for a long time. You would think that a Doctor of Philosophy might actually know some philosophy. But in my case at least, you would be wrong.

The Grating Incident

I am a very mobile talker. I think it stems from forcing myself to move around when I first started teaching. The very first classes I ever taught were 3.5 hours long each, and I found that if I didn't move around, I would actually get pretty bored from just standing up there and lecturing. So I made a conscious effort to walk around the classroom as I talked. I didn't do laps or anything, but I walk around a bit, pick up random things to use as props and demos, that kind of thing. Plus, it kept my students more alert and involved; it's always good when the teacher does not appear bored.

The downside to this is that this behavior has become kind of ingrained in the way I lecture. And now, I am finding, I do the same thing when I am giving a talk or a seminar. I have always been one to dress up nicely when giving a presentation unlike so very very many people in my field (see a previous article noting the acid washed denim man-capris), but now, in order to curb my excessive movement I make a concerted effort to wear rather high heels. The ones I wore at my last conference were a modest 4 inches.

But one should always check out the floor before stepping up to give a talk in high heels. At the conference I attended several weeks back, our meeting was in a large university lecture hall. It must have been used for chemistry or physics lecture at one point as the front of the room had a large table/bench. The floor also had the obligatory "Oops, I've spilled the 16-gallon tank of water I was using for my demo on the floor" grating in the middle of the floor as well. (I've never really known what those were for.) The grating was clearly secretly designed with a secondary purpose: to catch the heel of my shoe and grab hold for dear life. Here I am, giving my first talk at a conference, dressed in my suit and very awesome heels, being very conservative with my movement around the room, and then bam! The slender heel of my shoe has become one with the grating. And tripping over my own feet and falling flat on my face in front of an auditorium full of famous-ish people simply will not do. I tried gently lifting my foot, hoping the shoe would just slip free from the apparent bear trap that had been set up, but only managed to lift my foot out of the shoe almost entirely. Gingerly placing my foot back into the shoe (keep in mind, I am still giving my talk at this point), I gave it another shot, leaning my weight on the non-captive foot and giving the hostage shoe a little twist. Finally! I was free! I hightailed it to the other side of the speaking area, finished my talk, and did not go near that side of the room again.

Don't Ask Me

I had lunch a couple of days ago with one of my research groups. (I encourage you to interpret the word "research" rather loosely in this context, as the sum total of what I contribute to this group is the occasional technical consult). One of the researchers had invited a new, incoming graduate student to join us. The two of us were introduced and left at the table alone for a few minutes while everyone else went to grab some food.

New Student proceeded to ask me the usual "What do you do?", "What year are you?" types of grad student questions. Then he asked what I am going to do when I graduate. I was stumped. It was the first time, I think, that I said aloud "I have no idea" and really meant it. I tried to laugh it off in the it's-not-a-big-deal-right-now kind of way, but beneath my feeble attempt at humor I realized that I truly don't know what I want anymore. That's not the best realization to have over tuna salad. And New Student? He practically scolded me!! He told me that I had better get working on finding a job, that I am running out of time. The condescending tone of voice was enough for me to be over the conversation and start looking around for the familiar safety net of my advisor and the rest of the group.

I'm graduating in May 2006, mind you. I fully realize that fellowship deadlines are in October and November, and I need to start looking at post-doc listings this winter. I also have to plan my fall course, teach said course, finish my thesis research, write my thesis, and prepare for at least two conferences and an invited seminar this year. But since I now have been castigated by an incoming student, perhaps I should move "find direction for life and employment well-suited to achieving detailed life goals" to the top of the priority list.

Travels

Wow! I'm finally back in town and at work. It seems like it has been forever! My conference went pretty well I think. No one threw any rotten fruit or vegetables at me after my talk and I even had a few nice comments after my session. So all in all, I did not die. And that's good. I have yet to have a conversation with my advisor about the presentation, but when we talked yesterday he did not give me any indication that he had any comments at all. So who knows.

After the conference I came home for about 36 hours during which I cleaned up my house, picked my brother up from the airport, and left town again. David and I spent a week touring the southwest, a place neither of us had ever been! We saw the Grand Canyon, Vegas (well, I had been to Vegas before), and Zion & Bryce Canyon National Parks. It was a great trip. When I get my stuff together, I'll write some more detailed posts about the trip. There were some pretty ridiculous and fun moments. For now, though, please enjoy some pretty pictures. Here is the Grand Canyon at sunset:

And some wildlife that tried to steal my Chex Mix:


We also stopped at Meteor Crater in Arizona. Even if you are not interested in geology and/or astronomy, I still think you would find it impressive. Big, big hole in the ground. The white spot in the center of the crater is an area where they've done some geologic research; there's a fence over 6 feet tall around it, but the crater is so big and deep that you cannot even see the fence!

After the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon is a little less impressive. The geology is very different, though, and still very pretty:


We also saw more wildlife at Bryce Canyon. Below is a clever raven who found a way around the park's "do not feed the wildlife" policy.